Alien love...

Love was alien to me

Until he came and befriended me

Until he conquered me

As a part of Haiku Challenge

Towards marital bliss...

Marriage is an event that draws two people together. It adds more colors to life. Several factors like family, customs, gender, tradition, thinking pattern, upbringing, education, etc. affects the choice between love marriage and arranged marriage.

Love doesn’t happen by way of planning. It does not involve any pros and con analysis. It just happens; it is a magic. It is still a mystery how people feel attracted and attached to each other. Marriage is only a subsequent event. On the other hand, arranged marriage requires lots of planning and analysis. What-may-go-wrong analysis will prevail over will-the-couple-be happy. In such marriages, love may or may not arise. People get along with each other due to habit than love.

In India, the number of arranged marriages outshines the number of love marriages. Most of the times, the girl would be forced into the institution. Education, women empowerment, freedom and equality have not made any difference to the situation. Even today we hear stories of harassment and murders. Such news only multiplies the fears of a potential bride.

Further, pre-marital affairs have become very common. Most of the times, such relationships involve no commitment. Various emotions like guilt, regret, fear and insecurity would complicate matters. As a result, choosing between love marriage and arranged marriage becomes very difficult.

These days, people fall in love seeing the physical attributes which is temporary. Also, people might fake to attain their love. Arrange marriage focuses on the nature and characteristics of the individuals. The couple, being united by marriage, requires less faking. In the case of misunderstandings, instead of blaming each other and finding faults, they should try to resolve the problem. If it is arranged marriage, support from family will always be available. But, that may not be the case with love marriage.

As a matter of fact, love marriage or arranged marriage, the success depends upon how the couple handles the circumstances.

And here is my take on the contest hosted by Indiblogger – Love marriage ya Arranged marriage - www.facebook.com/

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“Vasu, you are twenty six years old. When are you planning to get married?” Kim, Vasundhara’s best friend asked. This was not the first time that Vasu was confronted with such a question. Some would say, “Better get married soon. You will not get many choices. You are growing old!” while some others would ask, “Will you marry at all?”

One day, Lakshmi aunty said, “Vasu, Please be frank. Don’t panic. You can tell me. And I will help you. Are you straight?” Then, Lakshmi aunty placed her hands on Vasu’s thighs and pressed it hard. That gesture made Vasu realize why Lakshmi aunty was never married­­­.

“Vasu beta, this is your father’s duty. We have selected a very good boy who is working in America. He is well settled and the family is also good. Please consider him”, her mother remarked.

“Mamma, please give me a break. I am not interested in getting married. What is this? You people have nothing else to talk to me? You were so reluctant to send me to Chennai for a job because it was ‘too far away from Bangalore’. But, America is nearby, isn’t it? What is wrong with you all?” Vasundhara sighed.

“Look Vasu, you have to marry someone by this year end. At least get engaged. This is high time”, said her father in a stern voice.

“Is this a deadline or something? Pappa, how can I marry a complete stranger? How can I lead a life with him?”Vasu started sobbing.

“Stranger! He will be your husband!” her mother exclaimed with a voice filled with irritation.

“Mamma, tying a knot may make him a husband. But, never a friend! Why don’t you understand that? I will run away from here if you nag me any further.”

She has been going through this for past three years. Everyone in the World acts as if their purpose of life is her marriage!

“What is this Vasu? Are you in love?” her father asked. Her mother looked bewildered, yet she nodded in approval of her father’s interrogation.

“Oh my God! This is the limit. I am only twenty six years old. Don’t act as if I am forty. I am not into any love-shov. I am just not interested.” said Vasu and rushed into her room and banged the door.

She lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She looked at the walls painted in red with heart-like designs running all over it. She recalled those days when she had spent hours surfing the internet for finalizing her room design. Her room was a delight. There was a big showcase displaying all the dolls and souvenirs she had collected since childhood. She drew the huge teddy towards her as fresh tears rolled out from her cheeks.

She wondered how she could ever leave all those tiny little things she was so attached to. Those were a part of her life. They defined her identity. She was scared. Being the only daughter, she had had all the freedom in the World. She doubted if that freedom would continue after marriage too. She was worried about how her in-laws would be. Fresh tears rolled down on thinking of leaving her parents after marriage.

Most importantly, she was scared of the stranger who would walk into her life and tie the knot; the knot that would give him the license to own her. She feared about his habits and character. She wondered what would happen if their compatibility was low. She was dead scared.

She did not understand the concept of arranged marriage. She wondered why she should leave everything behind for some random stranger. She did not understand why she should sacrifice her life for him. How one can choose the soul mate within a matter of few minutes?

Will there be love at all?

Is falling in love so simple?

She recalled how madly she was in love with Karthik. He was her childhood friend. Yet, it took three long years to accept his proposal. That was when they were studying engineering. She recalled those days of togetherness. Their friends were happy for them and they were happy together.

Those stolen glances… That footsie they played… The college tour that they went… She recalled how her friends mixed vodka in juice and hoodwinked her… She still remembered that they had their first kiss that night…

The trail of thoughts brought more tears. She was unsure whether she should tell about Karthik to her fiancé at all. But, she did not know what to say and what not to say. She wondered if he would understand. She was scared about the consequences.

She wondered what went wrong with their relationship. Was that due to their immaturity? Was that due to possessiveness? Did they fail to handle the long distance relationship? It was three years since they had met each other; they were not in touch either.

The phantasmagoria was interrupted by a knock on the door. That was her mother. She said, “Look Vasu, we have promised the boy’s parents that you will meet him today evening at the ISKCON temple. He can identify you. He will come and talk to you. If you think you love him, go ahead. The Wedding shall be arranged by us”

“Mamma, what is this? Why should I meet a stranger? I….”

“You don’t have much time. You go and meet him. We don’t think any other guy can keep you happier than he would. You better get ready. You never know. He may be the Chosen One for you!”

“Mamma… Please… I….”

Vasu’s mother went away. She cried more. She felt disgusted at the thought of dressing up to meet a complete stranger. She wanted to curse the guy. But alas! She didn’t even know the name. She wondered how she could go to America after marriage. Karthik was in America too. She felt emotionally drained. She wondered if she should tell her mother about Karthik. But what would she say? That they have broke up now? That geographic difference caused a rupture in their relationship? What difference would that confession make?

She opened the wardrobe and chose a yellow kurtha and white leggings. She did not care for any accessories. She was not going there to impress him, after all.

“Tell that guy that I will be sitting inside the car and give him the number of our car. But please, this is the last time”, she said with irritation.

“Of course beta, LAST TIME!”

As she drove the car, Vasu wondered why she agreed to this. She felt as if someone was going to strip her naked in public. Tears rolled down her cheeks smudging the kajal. She did not care about that. She did not care about anything. She felt like calling Karthik. But, she knew he would be sleeping. She did not want to disturb him.

She reached The ISKCON temple. She turned on the radio hoping that the songs would interrupt her thought.

“Those were the best days of my life…….” Bryan Adams’ voice made her nostalgic. She smiled. How ironic, she thought. She realized that radio was a bad idea and got out from the car. She stared all around expecting the stranger.

Suddenly someone grabbed her hands from behind. She turned with anger and then, for a moment nothing registered to her brain; not the sound of traffic, or the person standing in front of her. She just stood there gazing at him. He looked the same except for a different looking frame for specs. He was wearing a white shirt and light blue jeans.  He looked fairer than before.

“So what are you doing here?”, he asked.

She felt embarrassed to tell him that she was actually there to meet a potential groom. What would he think about her?

“Karthik, first you tell me why you are here?”, she asked

“Sundhara… I am here to meet a girl. My parents told me that I would fall in love with her in first sight. But, I don’t know where she is.”

They looked into each other’s eyes. She knew that she was still in love with him. She felt as if nothing had changed.

“I still love you Sundhara. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for not being with you. But, I promise not to repeat the mistakes again. Will you marry me?”

She stood there with mouth wide open. He squeezed her hands. It was said in such haste, yet with so much love that she stood there immersed in his eyes.

Her mobile started ringing and it was her mother. “Vasu, ready to become Mrs. Karthik?” Her mother sounded very happy and excited.

Vasu wanted to hug her parents tight. She felt overwhelmed that her parents arranged both love and marriage for her. She was flabbergasted when Karthik took her hands and put a dazzling platinum ring studded with diamonds on her ring finger.

And she hugged him tight… It was a spectacular feeling which was sinking in with each passing second. Tears of joy rolled down Vasu’s eyes as she rested on Karthik’s shoulders… It was then she heard him whisper in her ears, “I love you…”

Happy Onam - എല്ലാവര്‍ക്കും ഓണാശംസകള്‍!

Courtyards decorated with flower carpets…

Men and women draped in traditional Kerala attire…

Children in search of more flowers…

Teenagers thinking hard to come out with an innovative design for their flower carpet…

People dressed up like the King Mahabali…

Visits to temple…

Paayasam and Onam sadhya…

Thus comes yet another Onam…

Onam brings happiness with it… It also brings prosperity… It is one festival which is celebrated by all… Irrespective of religion or caste… It is a festival of togetherness… belongingness and brotherhood…

Onam always reminds me of how my mother and i would put large flower carpets in Bangalore… It used to be an eye candy for all…. I used to enjoy observing those envious stares! And I also remember that we made a similar large flower carpet in Kerala…. And within minutes, a bunch of goats came and ate all the flowers… That beautiful flower carpet was replaced by a mess of few flowers… stems and grass scattered here and there.. I was nine years old then and I decided that I will never put flower caret in my life!!! I cried endlessly. Recalling that incident now… I am smiling… Onam has always been such a fun!!!

So… dear all…

I am wishing you all a very-very happy Onam…

Have loads of fun and payasam indeed!!! Wink!!!

Train of thoughts

Now I am lost in a trail of thoughts. I am having handful of work. So the theory of “idle mind is a devil’s workshop” does not hold good; for the first time. It may sound absurd, but, I am telling you... I am lost in thoughts... I am in a complete black out state… I don’t know what to think and what not to think. In fact, I am scared to think… Can such a mental dilemma occur to all? Or am I just confused?

Human thoughts and psychology is the most intricate and complex of all. I am unable to understand myself. Then, how can I understand others? I am unable to think clearly. Then, how can I lead others towards clarity? I feel like I am shut in a dark dungeon. Then, how can I lead others towards sunshine?

Some random songs are being played in the background. And, here I sit staring at infinity. I feel as if all those words were written for me… As if written for me…. Am I that disturbed? I am unable to think. I am going through a mental block…

I am missing many people who have left a mark in my life… At the same time… I am also wondering how many more people are going to influence me and my life…

I am thinking how radically life is changing… I am thinking though I don’t feel like thinking at all…

Life can be such a puzzle, you see. It is so uncertain… It is full of unexpected… It is filled with surprises… Is this because life has an element of vagueness… Or is it only because of difference in perspectives? Or am I not understanding? Will I be able to understand at all - The nuances of life… Such an enigma…

Sometimes isolation is the only accelerating agent that can suck out the real you… Solitude is bliss… It helps us to assess ourselves… Understand others… Understand why we fail to understand others… It helps us know what life is… What life is giving us… and what we really want out of it! It showcases the moments of pleasure and grief in a phantasmagoric manner. Fantastic life, isn’t it?

Thought rail… Complex… Intriguing…

I am trying to decipher the code called life… But I am failing… I want to know the future… I am failing again… Should I try again? Should I continue the quest? Should I feed myself with what is most apparent or should I ponder further?

Life… Complex… Intriguing…

Such a fun… Such confusion… Such a mystery!!!

Thank you - a 1,00,000 times!!!!

Today it is 306 days….And… I have been anxiously waiting for this moment… And I am enthralled that it did!

My baby blog has got 1,00,000 hits!!!

And here I sit back and think….

The journey as a blogger has been very satisfactory. It made me realize that I can write. It taught me to observe and it taught me to fix words for my thought process. It was difficult initially. It is still difficult; but I am used to it now.

“Locomente” has become my alternative identity. I am able to associate myself with my pen name. At times, I also go through identity crisis. I would feel like telling the World who I am… But then I would stop myself… Locomente should not be confused with my personal likes and dislikes, isn’t it?

But my self-obsession is not letting me remain silent…. And I am still fighting with myself… Should I talk about me or about the blogger in me? I dont know... All I know is blogging made me realize that writing is not just another hobby… but a passion by itself.

Today, I wish to thank a handful of people who have been very encouraging… some critically analyzing… When I was busy nurturing my baby blog, these people have stood by me…

First of all… I have to thank Google which helped me surf and coin “Locomente”

Then, my parents; they ask me about the posts I have written and the number of hits it has received… They never fail to do that and it has become a routine now.

My chief reviewer – Vijay; He still laughs at me and make fun of me for all the careless yet apparent grammar and spelling mistakes. He continues to find faults which continue to scare me.

Then, I have to thank Siby sir… He reads my post and sends a lengthy mail saying what he liked and disliked in it… Further he would add some of his experiences in relation to the topic.

Valli and Green Spec… for being regular readers and giving tablets of motivation without fail.

Blogadda… A mere thank you may not be enough…. This site provided me with three sets of books for review… And a pair of sunglasses as a part of winning a competition hosted by them.

Same is the case with Indiblogger. They provide me with prompts that would make me dwell into it deeper and come out with something.

Haiku Heights introduced me to the World of Haiku. I still err. But, I never give up. It helped me venture int0 a very different forte.

And so many others… Who read and react…. It is you who made me think, observe and conceive idea… It is you who made me want to write more and more… It is only you who always helped me improve…

This little nest I have built in blogosphere means a lot to me. It is a part of me… An alternative identity…

Locomente is the closest friend to me now. It spreads warmth within. I am overwhelmed and awed at the same time. A gush of emotions is flowing within. I am unable to fix words as my thought flow is much faster than my typing speed.

Hence…

Here this Locomente says…

Dear readers… you made this possible…

You made me what I am today…

I am not only thankful… but grateful also…

I vow to write more… I vow to write good…

When words seems too less… All I can say is….

Thank you – A 1,00,000 times!!!

Spectacles

Stay close to me

You are the meaning of my birth

The sunshine of my life

You are the magician

Casting spells of love and hope

You are the musician

Adding melody to my life

You are a part of me

Never leave me

Stay close me

I want to live my life with you

I want to see the World through you

I want to wove my dreams around you

You are my spectacles

You make my vision clear

My life better

You are a part of me

Never leave me

As a part of One Single Impression

All is well that ends well!!

It is hard to understand human emotions. Our mood keeps changing and shifting. Not just the circumstances, but the people around us significantly influence us. I may be sounding too theoretical. But let me tell you, I am not.

Professionally, this week was very demanding. I was drained… tensed and depressed. But, the moment I entered my home for a chilled out weekend, my mood started lifting. As an icing on the cake, I have cleared the exams that I had taken this June.

As I am adding words to this post… As I am rewinding the week that went past… I have no complaints… hard feelings... sadness… This further makes me wonder how human beings can have such radical mood swings! It reemphasizes the fact that the human race stands above all other creations!!!

Or is this why they say… All is well that ends well!!

Ouch… Today I am feeling very self obsessed. Hence, I don’t want to torture my readers with the prolonged writing… I just want to sit back and enjoy the attention…. Yes! You heard it right… I want to sit back and enjoy all the attention that I am giving to myself…!!! Wink!!!

Fleeing for a happening and self obsessed weekendJ

When somebody loves you…

She was holding his hands… walking along the busy streets… At times, he would shift his hands to her shoulders and they would exchange a smile…

He is not a friend yet, she thought. She was also sure that he was not a stranger anymore. They shared a strange camaraderie. It may be love, she thought with insight.

She was not conscious of his presence. Yet she felt his presence around her. They were walking. Sometimes the crowd would tear them apart. At times, the narrow path would force them to move closer.

She knew that he was very different from her. He was more refined and diplomatic. He was too silent and kept things to himself.

As they crossed the busy roads, he held her hands tight. She wondered how they developed that sense of belongingness and care so fast. She was amazed at the pace at which the relationship was progressing.

She was sure that he was attracted to her. His mannerisms always ensured that. She noticed an appealing glint in his eyes when she was around. Not that he was missing her during other times, but he was happier when she was around. She knew that… somehow!  

Unusual it was…. But she was strongly attracted to him too. He was so different and yet he seemed so similar to her. She smiled at her thought trails as she followed him like a kitten.

As the crowded roads were replaced by the deserted lanes, she started talking to him. She sang songs and she laughed aloud. She ranted about everything. She complained how work life bored her. She explained how impeccably she remembers their first meeting. He nodded… Occasionally added a one word here and there… But he always managed to withhold that twinkle in eyes…

Sometimes he would sigh. She would think that he was getting irritated with her. She would think that he was getting annoyed and that she was boring him. She would, then, stop abruptly. At that time, he would grab her hands and stop her to say, “Sorry”. After all, he knows that she gets hurt easily due to his careless attitude.

Thus they walked… miles and miles… Hand in hand… shoulder to shoulder… At times, air of friendship would prevail over. At times, an unknown feeling would creep within. Yet, they continue to walk…. Happiness always lingered around… So did contentment… May be this is what happens when somebody loves you…

Written as a part of Carry On Tuesday Prompt

Peacock

He opens his wings

Green and blue;

Black and violet

He dances like an enigma

As the clouds enwrap the World;

Letting Sun, moon and stars rest

He dances beautifully

As the World is tickled;

With the first droplet of rain

He dances gleefully

As the land drinks them;

And suppresses Her hunger

He dances gaily

As we human scurry to shelter;

As little kids dance in the rain

He dances merrily

As if celebrating life;

Enjoying each moment

Peacock

An epitome of beauty

An embodiment of happiness

Lopsided

Success

Failure

Friendship

Enmity

Love

Hatred

Happiness

Sadness

Tears of joy

Tears of grief

You

Me

Life

We call it

Life

So lopsided

As a part of One single Impression

Green...

Ouch… She said you love her

Oh… I am going luscious green

Why don’t you love me instead?

As a part of Haiku Challenge

Six month of employment…

Six month of employment…

Six months of financial independence…

Six months of professional identity…

And today, I am wondering am I really happy? I could hear my heart crying out, “NO”. Amn’t I supposed to feel happy? Amn’t I supposed to enjoy all the luxuries… the wide platter of yummy tasting food… Amn’t I supposed to rejoice that no need to scream for ice cream? 

But, I am totally fed up… Is life all this?  

Typing on the laptop… tapping on the laptop… hugging the laptop… holding the laptop… Ouch! Is laptop life? Can it really fill the vacuum we feel? Can it substitute the solitude of staying away from parents… friends and loved ones??

Six months of employment

I really don’t know… There is unlimited online access… There are many online friends… But not a single one who would look into my eyes and study what it is saying…

Six months of employment…

Half a year went by… Was it well spent? I really don’t know… Met so many people… Travelled a lot… Now I am more like a hippie… I am always on rail or on road… Indeed… sometimes I do fly high…

Six months of employment…

I am missing my ammaji… her food… her love… her care…

I am missing my appaji… his laughter… that twinkle in his eyes…

I am missing my pep plus… Those joy rides and familiar roads…

I am missing my home… That comfort it gives…

I am missing myself… My identity… My childishness.. My carelessness…

I am missing my life… Everything about it!!!

Six months of employment…

Too short a span of time to conclude…

But, it has been long enough to let me know who really cares for me…

Six months of employment…

I may be enjoying… I could actually enjoy the freedom…

But, loneliness is such a slow poison.. I wish that I am not a victim…

I wish for a life filled with love and surrounded by love ones…

I really wish for a life - My kind of a life…

Full of fun!!!

Filled with drama…

Lots of talking….

Tons of laziness…

Six months of employment…

Here I am….

Ouch! I am searching myself…

I am missing myself…

When I flew high...

Flying high in the sky along with birds and clouds is one of the eclectic feelings one could ever have…

I peeped out of the window pane and looked down to mother Earth. The clouds were forming amazing shapes and designs. There was a point when the sky and ocean dissolved with each other resulting in a single light blue shade… It is amazing to notice that how different colors merge together… I wonder how the platter of color mixes with each other for that cool blue… It was quite an overwhelming experience. I sat there feeling enthralled. As we slowly reached the destination, the lengthy roads seemed like a long python. All those vacant lands resembled bars of chocolates. All the sky scrapers looked like doll’s house.  

And flying high also teaches an important lesson… While we look at things from a micro level, it may seem huge. But once we look from a larger perspective… we would understand that the problems were not that huge at all…

May be that’s why we humans are more stressed… more tensed… more worried… May be that’s why we humans are very possessive and carry the fear of losing people… and end up being alone… May be that’s why we feel insecure about relationships and future…

May be that’s why birds fly high… without fear… without sadness…  May be that’s why they fly in groups… raise against all the odds and just feel free!!!

Lump

I got up as always

The shining Sun and the chirping birds

My mama was busy cooking

My papa was engaged in newspaper

I dressed up in my neatly pressed uniform

Hair was neatly two-plaited

Then, carried my red school bag

I walked along those familiar lanes

So many known faces passed

We exchanged smile

Thus, I reached my second home

I walked towards my place

I felt the warmth of that wooden desk

I sat there and peeked out of the window

The green leaves swayed

As if waving hands to me

“Today no classes”, announced our teacher

But, we were not happy

We were asked to smile for the camera

Eyes didn’t. Only face did

Everything seemed the same

The classroom and the benches

The lawn and those gates

The ringing bells and the array of cycles

We all came from different backgrounds

Yet that day we shared the same feelings

We all felt sad; we didn’t want to move on

We wanted to stay there; why did we grow up

We wanted to answer “Present” for attendance

We wanted to be there; together

Desires and reality

Never complement each other

They are different poles

We were stuck in between them

Sadness was in air

Taste of salty tears lingered

Shake hands exchanged

Slam books filled up

We bid farewell

We walked apart - forever?

I then walked shivering

With tear filled eyes

Shattered from within

My last at school

It was my abode; my identity

Now it is not mine

I have no claim over it

I am just another alumni member

I hope that walls and desks remember me

I will miss them though

I will miss the National anthem sung in chorus

I will miss the luncheons had with friends

I will miss those fishing for free hours

I will surely miss those careless days

Life is going to change

Nothing will be the same

I am unable to control my tears

A lump in the throat 

Due to the lump felt at heart

I will miss my school days…