It was not the first time she was feeling that way. She has been feeling the same for the past fifteen years now. They had parted as friends five years before and still she was feeling the same. Some said as years pass by, she would get over it. After all, time is the best of healers. She too hoped the same. But, at thirty, she couldn’t believe that anymore.
She was in her teens when they had first met. He was tall and naughty. Friendship flickered in no time and love blossomed eventually. He was her best friend and he was also the soul mate, she knew that already.
Years passed by and they completed their studies. Then, they became busy with their professional targets. Regular meet ups was replaced with regular phone conversations. And that also came to a halt.
She thought he was a little stressed at work. She was concerned about him and started asking too many questions. He thought she was becoming possessive, nosy and too interrogating. He also once remarked that she was too dominating to handle. She silently cried that night. That was only a beginning. Irritation paved way to anger, then fight took over until one midnight he called her up and said, “Lets end this”
She cried. She pleaded. She promised that she would not ask any questions. But he didn’t listen to her. His innocence was gone, she realized. He sounded very selfish and self-obsessed. He talked as if she never existed. That hurt her most of all.
Nights elongated and she befriended tears. She missed him a lot. His smiles remained verdant her heart and his laughter echoed around. She couldn’t forget how he always failed to remember important dates, birthdays and anniversaries. She could feel his tender touch and hear his manly voice. She still remembered that afternoon when his eyes welled up while asking, “Why do you love me so much?” His fragrance still lingered around. She smiled as she remembered how he would splash water on his hair to make it look less messy. His twinkling eyes as deep as ocean and the stitch mark on his left eyebrows, she remembered everything. Tears always engulfed her eyes on thinking about him.
One day, she came to know that he was dating another woman. She cried her heart out that day. She couldn’t stop wondering what was so good about that woman and what was so bad about her. She didn’t want to compare herself with anyone; but she just couldn’t control. That piece of news shattered all her hopes. She understood that he has moved on and that he would never become hers. Those days were gone; he was gone. He was only a memory now, a sweet memory.
She tried desperately to move on. But, she just couldn’t. She could feel him here, there and everywhere. She could feel him within. She knew that she was not only carrying his memories, but also a part of him with her. After all, he was her first love; the only man she loved and trusted after her father. She realized that she could not love anyone else in her life. Even if she tries, the other guy would somehow understand that she is desperately trying to find her lost first love in him.
Yet she waited patiently for her Prince Charming to come and sway her off her feet. She hoped that someday she would fall head over heels in love with him. Well, she didn’t know who that “Prince Charming” was going to be; though she secretly wished that it was her first love! She prayed that he would come back to her. She also hoped that he would come back to her before it is too late…
As a part of Carry on Tuesday
As a part of Carry on Tuesday