When I Cry...

Sometimes when I am alone, I cry. The tiny hot droplets of tears escape my eyes and run down my cheeks. Its warm touch would be soothing as if someone is tenderly caressing me. When I close my eyes I don’t see darkness. Instead I see colors. Colors of my life… Myself and the colors left by so many others in my life. Some will be vibrant shades whereas some will be as nude as black. The brighter colors would bring a tiny smile in my face while black makes me cry more.

I hug my knees and cry further. My crazy-mind-coupled-with-not-so-crazy-instincts would take me on a tour. It would take me along the roads I travelled. Some roads would be beautiful and some would be full of pits. The journey would showcase the roads that paved to divine happiness and those that led to acute depression.

Then, I lay on the bed with my face immersed into the pillow. This time silence would engulf me. I observe my rhythmic breathing pattern and get lost in a World of my own. That World will be full of people I love(d). They look exactly how I remember them (How I want to remember them rather).

As my dear friend named tears starts fading, I start dozing off. It is always hard to say a proper goodbye to my friend. She is my true reflection. I can never cheat her. She knows when I need her and has never once left my side.

Yes! She has always been there for me. When I failed… when he left… When I succeeded… When he came… When she said “Bye”… When they all said they love me…

Oh yes! She has always been there for me. Sometimes she would come like a drop that would escape an improperly closed tap. At times she would come like the downpour sent from heaven. At times, her kiss would mesmerize me and let me feel the eternal happiness. That kiss would be fierce yet passionate; as if from a lover. And many a times, it would hurt me. It would make me feel uncomfortable and grief stuck; as if being kissed by a stranger.

But then, sometimes when I am alone and I cry, I would feel at peace. I would forget the loneliness and get transported to a World of my own, filled with people I love(d).

As a part of Carry On Tuesday

Silence is speaking

Silence is speaking

Those unforgotten stories

Treasured ones!

Feeling nostalgic

Unleashing each memories

Of love and discord

Bitter Sweet Memories

He was back to his native place after three decades. The ruins of the neighboring house brought back the bitter sweet memories of his teenage, his first love. They fell in love instantly as if someone had cast magical spell.

Her laughter echoed in his ears. A smile broke when he recalled their first kiss in the backyard. Cluck! Their tooth hit each other’s and they started laughing.

He was lost in thoughts when she held his hands and said, “Shall we go?” Her voice quivered. He knew she was suppressing tears. That was his wife, his first love and that building used to be her abode once.

As a part of Friday Fictions

Ammaji... You Rock!!! - Part III

Adieu!

They were ready, yet she was reluctant to leave. He understood her silence. So he hugged her tight. He felt his chest get wet on account of her hot droplets of tears. He patted her shoulders and caressed her hair.

Then she looked at him, with tears filled eyes, “You don’t feel sad at all?”

He said, “We are moving on. The past was mesmerizing. If we start discussing about what we are going to miss, we may start up forgetting those good days spent together. I love you dear. And you have given countless memories that I can carry in my heart. They will always bring a smile in my face”, he said.

She looked deep into his eyes, “Oh Pumpkin! I will miss you”, she said.

“Love ya”, he said and released her from the hug.

Thus they parted with silence. Her eyes still had tears. But there was a smile too. There would be no one to wake her up in the morning and give goodnight kiss at night. She pushed the thoughts of how days are going to be without him. Instead she tried to think about those days spent with him. The fight for that remote… That orange shared…That silly argument and stolen glances. Her smile broadened with each passing thought.

She mumbled, “Thank you pumpkin” J

Will You Marry Me?

That shimmering night

Looking deep into my eyes

He asked, will you marry me

He asked, will you marry me

I was taken to­ cloud nine

That shimmering night

As a part of Haiku Challenge

In my Life...

In my life

Many came

Some went

Some others stayed

Some made me laugh

Some made me cry

But they all gave me memories

Innumerous ones

They all are special

I carry them within

As a part of me!

As a part of Carry On Tuesday

Chanakya's New Manifesto

Mother India was raped by innumerous invaders over several decades. Later she was freed from their clutches after mercilessly ripping her apart. It gifted her not only pain but also a never fading scar and ever multiplying disease, in the name of wars and terrorist attacks.

Then, Mother India suffered relentlessly only to be further slaughtered by her own children. Greed for money and exploitation by the powerful became her misery. Known for her patience, she went through it without complaining; with a distant hope of mending her wounds.

And Pawan K Varma’s Chanakya’s - New Manifesto talks about evolution of India pre and post Independence. He portrays a true picture of India today which is capable of making your heart bleed. You will hear your mind cry for a change. Yet, you try to ignore it. You try to act as if you didn’t hear that at all. You try harder to act as if nothing is wrong. You look around and console your foolish heart that nothing is wrong at all. If heart acts smart and throw some questions that demands you to be realistic and rational, you will close your eyes. This time you would reiterate to yourself, “Come on, at least I am good. That means some good is still left in this mighty World!”

Yes… We all do this. We all run aimlessly from the facts which are thrown on our face. We choose to see only what we want to see. As being taught, we dutifully follow the principle of carrying only good things and deliberately avoid the black shades that surround us.

But amazingly, Chanakya’s - New Manifesto pin points at the five pests that are nudgeeating India. He talks only about five aspects:

i.             Governance

ii.           Democracy

iii.          Corruption

iv.          Security

v.            The Creation of an Inclusive Society

The facts given in the book takes us through an emotional roller coaster ride. Some make us stir uncomfortably… Some makes us feel shameful… Some make us want to get up, roll the sleeves and do some cleaning work… Some shakes us from the dream of seeing a developed India and directs us to work towards realizing that dream.

“India is a developing country”

Aren’t we hearing this for a long time? Aren’t we fed up of this lame statement? How many more years is it required to finally see her developed?

And here comes this book! The author takes each and every aspect that is pestering India and the Indians. Then, the author gives solutions to these solve each of these problems through Chanakya’s Arthashasthra.

As a preamble to each chapter, the author gives a few stanzas taken from Arthashasthra. The wisdom it carries though intricately woven within the constraints of few lines depicts the high quality of Arthashasthra. It makes us sit back and wonder why we Indians have a tendency to praise everything that comes from west and always neglect the home bred.

However, the book is a little too overloaded with details and statistics. It could bore you a bit if you are also someone like me who hates to read Social Studies. But yeah, I don’t deny the fact that there are many who love reading it and knowing the History of a glorious and celebrated Nation called India. If you are one among them, I bet that this book would feed you well.

In short, Pawan K Varma’s Chanakya’s - New Manifesto is a thought provoker. It makes us long for that day when mother India will shine without any blemishes and raises the same old question – But when?!

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com . Participate now to get free books!

Before I am Rusted...

Heart is fuming with rage

And also pleading for a change

Who cares about the earning?

Was there any learning?

Why did I choose to fly?

May be because I wanted to give it a try?

How I wished to roll up my sleeves!

Now I wish to wipe off my tears!

Keeping my fingers crossed

To make good of all the time passed

Is there any way out?

I really want to get out!

Before I am rusted

Because I am frustrated!

Vishwaroopam - விஸ்வரூபம்

Like most of you, I also wanted to know what the story is. I wanted know so much of controversy surrounds it. I wanted to know what the renowned actor has in store for us. I was eager to know the story per se.  Hence, I decided to watch Kamal Hassan’s Vishwaroopam.

Woven around the premises of terrorism and the lives of Jihadhi, the movie carries class and Universal appeal. It deep dives into details and awes the audience. The actions sequences are in par with the International standard. The movie scores high because the story does not get deviated in the name of drama and masala. It sticks to the theme and flows steadily. The narrative is gripping enough. All the characters stay in our heart and the actors have pronounced their roles effectively. The background music sets the mood for the movie and all other technicians have delivered their best.

Kamal Hasan is the obvious show stealer. Be it the character of Kathak matsre… Or an innocent TamBrahm husband or the subtle-hearted Jihandhi, or the vigorous Hero, Kamal Hassan shines. His body language is impeccable perfect. He once again proves that he is a versatile actor. However, when he uttered the TamBrahm’s Tamil, I could not stop myself from remembering Avvai Shanmugi.

Pooja Kumar is a new face; yet her acting looks seasoned. She comes across as an intelligent woman and she carries that role with sophistication. Andrea is stunning as always and looks smart enough.

Rahul Bose has done a commendable job too. But, as an audience, I would wish to see someone fiercer than Rahul Bose. He looks too feeble for the role and his slow motion slows down the pace.

First half is swift and overloaded with information. The movie stands out because of its elaborate fight scene just before the interval.  Howver, second half struggles a little bit. It looses its charm and slowly fails to hold the attention of the audiuence. Thankfully, the movie neds just there. I felt as if it was ended in a haste, in  order to pave way to the sequel which is already under production.

To sum up, Kamal Hassan’s Vishwaroopam is a onetime watch. Though it is a challenge to understand all the details in one go. The story travels between timelines that further tend to confuse the audience. But, I say that it is a complete paisa vasool. It will entertain you... It will make you think… It will make you wonder… It will make you anxious to see what is there in the sequel…

PS:

Dear Kamal sir,

You have proved again. I don’t know if we would understand your movie now. But I bet that in  a few years down the line, this movie would be considered to be a path breaker. Your movie is an eccentric yet enjoyable presentation by a passionate yet compassionate movie-maker aka movie-lover. And I salute you for your courage. 

Ammaji... You Rock!!! - Part II

Ammaji…

I cannot stop admiring you…

You are awesome…

Outstanding!!!

Can I ever become like you?

Because I wish that I am like you!

Let me learn embroidery

Yes Mamma!

I really want to learn

Embroidery

Why am I not like you?

Why am I impatient and lazy?

Will I ever learn?

Dear Mamma,

Let me learn embroidery

So, please teach me

And further

Inculcate patience

Need to learn

PS: This Haiku is dedicated to my ammaji. She is extraordinarily good at embroidery and stitching. Over the past ten years, I have tried to learn them from her. But the impatience and restlessness never let me learn. I still repent; yet I still believe that I will be learning it sooner or later. After all, better late than never!

PPS: Dear readers, can you please wish me good luck? So that I become as patient as my ammaji! 

As a part of One single Impression

Moving Away...

His mobile started flickering indicating the receipt of a text message. He sighed as he opened it. It read, “So… It’s all over isn’t it?”

He didn’t know what to reply. So he maintained silence. Yes, he loved her. But, he failed to understand her. To be more specific, he could not understand women. They tend to think too much… Worry too much… Ask innumerous pointless questions… Thus lead to arguments and fights. Women, according to him, were complicated. 

He was deliberately pushing her thoughts away when his mobile flickered again. This time the message read, “Nw the great SILENCE! Ok… I hv decidd. I am gng. I wil nt bother u. I have wiped the slate clean”.

He took a deep breath.  He wanted to hug her tight and long. He knew that it would calm her down. He wished that she stops thinking sooner because he was scared that he may lose his cool soon; if she continues to send those messages.

As anger crept within, he closed his eyes and tried to think about her. Her big eyes and unmanageable hair… Her laughter and poor jokes…  Her love and the madness that they shared…

He knew why she was behaving like that. They will be geographically separated for the next don’t-know-how-many-more months. He also knew that the busy hours at work will not let him spend enough time with her. This had happened before also. But, this separation hurt most now. May be because they have become closer … Or is it because their love has ripened?

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to console himself, then how could he console her? So he maintained silence and stayed a little away from her. He wanted to get used to her absence. On the other hand, she wanted to be as close as possible with him. She assumed his withdrawal to be his way of expressing, “I am bored with you” and hence the messages followed.

The mobile flickered again. This time the message read, “Missing you a lot my pumpkin. Wondering hw I can live without seeing u… And sorry 4 yelling. U knw tat I dndt mean that na.. Love ya…”

This time a lump formed in his throat. He missed her badly. He wanted to call her then and there. But he was travelling in train and it was past midnight.

This time when he closed his eyes, he saw her in dreams. He stunning eyes twinkled like stars and he drifted off to sleep…

Give Me Some Sugar!

Hey! I am waiting

It’s been a long time; come near me

And give me some sugar!

Ouch! I am missing you

That smile, its warmth; those eyes

And fanatic love

As a part of Haiku Challenge

Its V-Day 2013

Its V-Day today… And I am staring at my laptop to write something in relation to love… The magic it brings… The happiness it spreads… I want to further elaborate that love can be painful at times and shameless all the times. And when love holds its hands with commitment, life sees seamless joy. And when it ties up with expectations, an emotional roller coast ride would begin.

Love… Why so much emphasis is given to this four lettered word? Much bigger emphasis than what is given to another four lettered word called life. I really wonder why. Is that because love is the basis of life?

Sheer love for life and for ourselves keeps us moving ahead with times. It helps us heal the wounds and mend the heartbreaks. It makes us stronger and immune to heartaches.

Unbound love for our family makes us what we are. It shapes us, our thoughts and the attitude towards life. It is our love for them that makes us think twice before acting.

Finally, the accidental and unplanned love for that “someone” adds meaning to our life. They bring purpose for our life and ensure a lifelong companionship.

Love adds colors to our lives. It draws mesmerizing paintings in the canvas called life. It fills our heart with plethora of memories that can be shared with our grand children and then, carried to grave.

Here dawns yet another Valentine’s Day… Bringing so many dreams… Promising unbound happiness…

Hence here I am wishing you all a Happy Valentine’s Day… Beside I am waiting… With fingers crossed, hoping that the Sun would rise sooner and this time much brighter! 

Ammaji.... You Rock!!! - Part I

Thai Maasam is always special for me; because I get the opportunity to adorn our courtyard with beautiful kolam. When I was young, the courtyard acted as a training ground. I erred.., I struggled and thus evolved.

As years passed by, the same courtyard acted as a medium through which I would show off my huge kolangal.

But Thai Maasam 2013 was different. My job kept me away from home. So, I could not enjoy the process of drawing a kolam or smile with pride when my neighbors and friends appreciated it.

However, I was taken aback!

My ammaji took the onus of drawing huge kolam on my behalf. She ensured that our courtyard never felt my absence. She drew really huge kolam on every Mondays and Thursdays. And here goes the glimpses of her artwork.

Oh! I love her totally… Ammaji… Without you, I would have been nothing at all… You just rock! I am going green because of you… And at the same time dance with joy on account of boundless love you!

Falling in love

Oops! Falling in love

With red roses and dresses

And I am thanking you

Yes, I am thanking you

For adding colors to my life

For igniting love

And I am Waiting

For that day when you would walk;

With roses in hand

Seashore and I

The seashore waited peacefully

To be drenched by the mighty waves

Like how I wait for you to come

For a love-soaked life forever!

Then, the waves kiss the shore

And gently draws her close

Like how you take me closer to you

For a romantic endeavor!

PS: This Tuesday, I had an opportunity to dine at Taj, Kovalam. The restaurant was facing the sea. We were welcomed by the sounds of waves, and, chill breeze was enwrapping us. It was night time and romance surrounded. As I stood by the seashore, these lines echoed within. I felt like standing there forever and fall in love with the nature all over again! 

What is Love?

This morning I was surfing through channels. And I paused to catch some songs. Melodious songs have a tendency to pull me towards it. No, I am not talking about heart breaks and heart aches songs; but about lovely romantic songs.

Romantic songs have a strange ability to bring remarkable change to our mood per se. It makes us fall in love with life and everything around.

It also makes us wonder can love be really like this.

There was this song where a girl follows her love all the way. She tries out his slippers. Then, she prepares mouthwatering food for him. She smiles... She blushes... After all, she is in love fanatically!

And then, the guy is no less. He smiles contagiously. He jumps... He dances... He follows her and tries almost everything possible under the sun to charm her.

They will wear dresses in matching colors. The guy would ride bike and she would be his pillion. They would cuddle each other. They would feed food to each other and do public display of their love.

And we would be left wondering if love can really be this ideal? Would the couple in love really yearn to meet each other. Will they really think about each other before falling asleep and keep peering into mobile phone in anticipation of a call from their love. Do people really get drowned in each other’s eyes and wait patiently for a stolen touch?

Really?

Can love be like this? Rather is love like this? Can love make you forget yourself? Is it a pest that could eat away all your common senses?

More importantly, can love be so innocent? Can love really melt heart and let us do anything for our loved ones?

Rather specifically... Does love exist at all - A selfless kind that is portrayed in movies; an ideal kind. A kind of love where all is well and ends well... Where the couple always gets into marital bliss for a happily ever after... Where love walks hand in hand with commitment and fidelity; most of the times free from lust!

Love... Such a complex emotion it is...

Really? Love happens only once, is it? As shown in movies and penned in books!

Love - A simple four lettered word that carries a deep meaning; whose meaning can never be ciphered into a few words. Love is more complex than life... And an entire life may not be enough to understand what love is!

Love is a feeling of soul, conveyed through eyes than words. Love is a divine feeling. And this post is dedicated to all who have been in love once… Who are in love now… And all others who are keeping their fingers crossed in anticipation of falling in love sooner or later. After all… Love is in air; Valentine’s Day is nearing!

Don’t I know my Sunshine?

Hey! My dear Valentine

I am wishing to see the World through you

You are the King of my heart

Though I remember

Seeing you red; same as blood red

Blazing with anger

Then, you glared at me

As if there is no more love

As if it is the end

Don’t I know my Sunshine?

The red would lighten to orange

Then to soft yellow

Hence I am waiting

For that red lettered day

With hopes and dreams

As a part of Haiku Challenge

I have to Leave You

Yes, I have to leave you.

You have not lost your charisma.

I can’t keep you happy;

Oh, please understand,

I am not good enough for you.

I am really very sorry.

As a part of One single Impression

Kadal - கடல்

Kadal is one of the most anticipated movies of 2013.

v  A movie directed by Mani Ratnam – Someone who is famous for making unusual and out of the box movies. Come on, who can forget Roja, Bombay, Anjali, Thalapathi , Alaipayuthe, Kannathil Muthamilttal, and Mouna Raagam.

v  An AR Rahman musical – Mani Ratnam is the sculptor who presented the World with a great musician like AR Rahman. The duo has always managed to deliver the best compositions ever. I feel like naming a few songs and I decide against it as the list may go and on!

v  Cinematography by Rajiv Menon. Mani Ratnam and Rajiv Menon were joining hands after Bombay and Guru. Nobody can ever forget the pallets of these movies. They were real and seemed natural.

v  Launch pad for Gautham Karthik, son of actor Karthik and grandson of yesteryear actor Muthuraman… And for Thulasi Nair, daughter of once dream-girl, Radha and niece of actor Ambika; also younger sister of actor Karthika Nair. Coincidentally, Karthik and Radha debuted in a film named Alaigal oyvadhillai – A raving hit of that times.

v  Comeback film of once Chocolate Boy  -Aravind Swamy. Once he was the iris of Mani Ratnam who was enacted the role of lead in Roja, Bombay and Indra. He also gave guest appearance in Alaipayuthe.

v  And as a topping, Nenjukulle umma mudinjurukken, which has emerged as a chart buster was in this movie. And I was dying to see how it was pictured.

Thus, I went to watch the film on the second day of release…

The first few scenes were masterpiece from the mastermind. Who else but only Mani Ratnam can deal with child psychology so beautifully! The transformation of the protagonist from an innocent small boy to a mischievous young boy is amazing and then to a boy who stands under the shade of his mentor.

Kadal is a story of battle between good and bad. It is also about love; how the presence and absence of love can affect the life of a person. It is a story of a son who pines for the love of his father and mourns on the early death of his mother. It is a story of a lover who    gets swept off his feet by her charm and innocence. It is a story of a Christian Father who is deeply in love with the preaching of Lord Jesus; who loves the path of love and forgiving. It is a story of a man, who is deeply in love with the demons than angels; who runs behind money than love. It is also a story of a father who fails in front of his daughter on account of true love that he feels towards her.

Thus Kadal is all about love; the different facets of it. It is about seeking true love and following the path of love than vengeance and hunt for wealth.

Everything said, the concept taken by Mani Ratnam is intriguing. It is also complicated; hence, the director struggles to make the screenplay gripping enough. The story loses its charm and fails to woo the audience after a given point of time. It tests patience and becomes painfully boring. As add on, the songs are very bad considering the high standards of Mani Ratnam – AR Rahman.

I am such a movie buff that movies have to try really hard to bore me. And surprisingly, this movie succeeded in that easily. May be I expected a lot. May be the screenplay lost its track after sometime.

What makes the movie watchable is the performance of debutant actor Gautham Karthik; also his characterization. He glides with ease reassuring that acting is indeed in his blood. Nobody would believe that it is his first venture. Boy, way to go! I bet that he is going to stay.

Thulasi Nair is cute and her smile is so innocent that we get attracted towards her. She doesn’t have much scope for acting; yet she makes the most of the opportunity given.

Show-stealers, however, are the veteran actors Arjun and Aravind Swamy. They deliver mature performance. Ponvannan has also played his part well, as always. And of course, Rajeev Menon’s rustic cinematography makes the movie more real. So does the Tamil slang and crisp dialogs.

The movie fails big time only because of two big shots – Mani Ratnam and AR Rahman. They are certainly not at their best.

I was particularly disheartened seeing how badly an amazing song like Nenjukulle umma mudinjurukken was pictured. Lyricist Vairamuthu had written so poetically, yet that goes in vain as the song is used more as a background score. Thumbs down for that callousness! However, I have to tell you that those poetic lines do not suit for the situation at all.

In short, the movie is a little too painful. But, like me, if you also believe that you belong to a generation who has grown up watching Mani Ratnam films and listening to AR Rahman songs, please go for it. But please don’t expect anything like I did; that could actually disappoint you.

Dear Mani Ratnam and AR Rahman…

You stand high in our little hearts. Please don’t slay us. I understand that it is difficult to meet our expectations. But at least, meet your own standards.