Friday 24 May 2013

Where Love is Hiding?


Chill breeze was blowing. A faint smile never left her lips as she walked past her school. She felt nostalgic.

Days of teenage and first love reeled in her mind like a phantasmagoria…

Then she noticed that telephone booth, now abandoned.  She recalled those times when her first love used to call from there. How he used to earn a hole in his pocket by making those costly phone calls!

Today, everybody has a cellular phone; so did she!
The call rate has also slashed considerably.
Yet, there was nobody to call her.

Love… Where it was hiding, she wondered…

5 comments:

  1. My initial idea for the prompt was to write a love story.. depicting how earlier people worked hard to be able to talk with their loved ones due to lack on cell phones.. with better connectivity however there seems to way less communication... but I couldn't get around to it.. so I went for something else.. :) good to know you done that :)

    If don't mind I would suggest you to re write the line-- How he used to earn a hole in his pocket by making those costly phone calls!

    Make is something like.. It burnt a hole in his pocket to make those calls.. my suggestion :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Shreyank...
      And I will consider your suggestion soon...:)

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  2. Dear L,
    A lovely story of love lost and progress...if it is progress.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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  3. I hope she finds some love and doesn't just have to remember what it was like.

    I noticed the same sentence Shreyank mentioned. You could even have something along the lines of "The cost of those calls burned a hole in his pocket." And where you have "The call rate has also slashed considerably", you may want to say "dropped" for "slashed" as you'd really need to say "had been slashed." But the sadness and loss in your story shines through clearly even as is.

    Have a wonderful weekend,

    janet

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  4. Lovely story Satya! Hope love finds her again!

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