ailure was unknown me. I never wanted to befriend it either. I always worked hard and tried my best to keep failure away. No, I don’t mean I did only what made me feel comfortable. I mean that I never left any stone unturned to ensure that failure could never touch me.
I believed that a man will be only what he thinks. So I consciously directed myself towards optimism and shooed away all the negative feelings. I believed that I can and told myself that nothing is impossible!
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
I also believed that if I am really determined and strongly believe in something, I shall get that in any cost. Such belief should not only be on tasting success but on my ability to do it as well. If such determination is coupled with hard work, I knew I could conquer the world and reach to the skies.
“When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
When success kissed me, I used to remain mesmerized only for some time. I always used to roll up my sleeves and move towards the next. I never let success get into my head and always believed that pride certainly goes before a fall!
They say that life is the best teacher ever. And, I say that life is the biggest traitor too! It knows how to hurt you and what would prick you the most. Life is the giver of greatest of happiness and sorrow as well.
I prepared for that exam by giving up all the earthy joys. No books… no movies… no hanging out with friends… no shopping… no television… NOTHING AT ALL…
Wake up… study… eat… study… eat… study… sleep
Life went round and round in such viscous cycle…
I gained weight. I grew out of my clothes. Several of my friends found other friends and left me. I forgot what socializing mean and how life used to be.
Finally, the exam went well – that’s what I believed! So, I tried to go back to my old life. Friends teased me for gaining so much fat; how will I not? Sitting for twelve hours a day will not make you slim! But, I didn’t care. I knew results matter!
But, I failed! It shattered me beyond words.
And, I was subjected to every Tom Dick and Harry’s scrutiny:
“CA exams are luck-driven”
“I think you should have focused more”
“I think you should just give up and get married”
“Now, what will you do? All you have is a degree. Try CAT!”
“Shit, you are old already”
When everyone taunted me and blamed me for the great failure, I stared back helplessly. I was scarred already. Their remarks didn’t help me. I was angry with myself. My belief was shattered into minute pieces. I was depressed because everyone was pointing a finger on me. I was ashamed of myself because I didn’t meet the expectations of my parents.
So, I decided that I will give up. I told myself that CA is not my cup of me.
But, one night, a couple of weeks after my great fall, my father sat beside me. He said that he knows how well I had prepared for the exam. He admitted that he never thought that I would fail. But, he added that past cannot be altered, but I can shape my future. He told me that I have two options: To blame myself and regret OR accept this as a challenge and fight against the tide. He said that one should never accept failure and always challenge it through hard work. He asked me to take failure as a stepping stone to success and confessed that he has confidence in me.
He also said that I must forget about the results and just concentrate on the journey.
His optimism was contagious. His words became my Bible. Tears used to well up when I started preparing for the exams again. But, my father’s presence around used to ease me.
This happened a good four years before. Today I am a CA.
I believe me that failure helped me to stay grounded and be prepared to face any downfalls.
My father’s optimism conveyed the power of hope and belief!