She hesitated a bit. Her mind was sending contradicting signals, further confusing her. But she chose to listen to her heart – a little fragment of herself which she always ignored.
First, she unblocked him in the Facebook. Then, she went through his timeline and noted that he looks the same – the same smile that always made her eyes smile. His unruly hair making him look more boyish than he was. It was his birthday and this was the gift she gave for herself. She was scrolling down his words and thoughts. She smiled when she noted silly spelling mistakes and jumbled letters. “He always does that”, said a happy voice within. The more she scrolled down the more she realized that he was looking at life at a macro level – economy, society, languages, borders, politics and what not. There was nothing personal which said he missed her. Or that he felt alone without her. Or something that could remind her of their days together. All his posts were distant and wider. She felt a little irritated. Is she the only one missing him day in and day out? In spite of a decade long separation, why she cannot fall asleep without thinking about him? Why does he still peep into her dreams regularly? And why do those dreams seem so real; as if he really pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. As if he spooned her that night until she fell asleep against the warmth of his breadth. She closed her eyes and heard his voice in her head. She opened them and felt his presence around. She was missing him. She imagined his fingers entwining with hers and his shoulders brushing hers. She relived those good old days in her head and jolted back from reverie. She was still smiling when she closed Facebook window.
Aren’t memories and dreams only hope to keep moving on in life, she wondered.