Common to Fall... Uncommon to Rise!

A contest always excites me. And so I read...

“What is all that matters to a person? His daily bread? His family? His ambition? Or his dreams that teach him to fly and foster his talent? What is that makes a person live beyond his fears? What makes a person determined? What is that encourages him to perform with a new vigor even after a dreadful failure? What makes him value patience and tolerance?”

I read again...

I sat back in my chair and thought about it. Really, what makes someone to rise against all odds...What keeps someone going in spite of all the pitfalls?

I closed my eyes and wondered how I became what I am today... From a normal child to a teenager determined to become a Chartered Accountant... The easy successes that came my way... Those congratulations and appreciations... That sudden change from yet-another-carefree-teenager to a determined-independent-confident girl... Those days of happiness and laughter... Optimism and ambition... Everything reeled within my mind.

Then I winced... That failure...

That failure that taught me that life is not a sturdy walk in a flat and well-maintained road. It taught me that pitfalls are common and that anyone can fall anytime. It brought me back to reality and made me look at the World with a different perspective.

That failure still wet my eyes... That fall still hurt me... A mere academic failure it was, anyone might argue. But, at 22years, I was not ready for that... I never thought that I could fail... I believed that it could happen for others, but never to me...

There I was... shattered... Feeling crumpled...

I cried.  I cursed my fate. I accused the Super Power – God. I yelled at my parents... I withdrew myself from social circles... I stopped talking to loved ones...

I started living a life that was far away from people, expectations... Each moment, I tried to detangle myself from the shackles of failure.

I closed the doors for others and everything that was a part of my daily life... And I opened a small door that was closed till that date – A door that led to my inner-self!

I asked myself the following questions and tried to derive answers from within:

Why did I fail?

May be because the expectations of very high... May be I was too optimistic and relied a little too much on luck factor... May be this is just not my time!

Why am I feeling so low?

Because I couldn’t live up to the expectations of my parents and loved ones. Above all, I could not meet my own expectations

How will I recover?

I will NOT fail again. At least not in what I have already failed!

Action Plan

I will forget the past. I will start afresh, as if I am doing for the first time... As if I am reading/learning/understanding for the first time

Then I told myself...

Failure is common... But rising against it and defeating failure, thereby, emerging victoriously is uncommon. The failure has rendered me crippled, but I will not accept my disability. Instead I decided to fight and win over my disability.

And I wanted to emerge as a warrior who had won the battle with scars that would remain for a lifetime.

Every time, when I opened the same book that I had once studied and revised... Every time when I saw sympathy twinkling in the eyes of people around me... Every time I lost my heart and when tears evaded my eyes blurring my rational thinking... I used to sigh and tell myself....

It is common to fall

But uncommon to rise!

I wanted to be uncommon... I wanted to be a rising star not a falling star... I taught to put hard work without expecting results... I told myself that I have a duty and I am ONLY supposed to carry out that...

After all, I can ONLY sow the seeds. Whether a plant will grow out of it or not is something beyond my control!

On the eve of my results, I slept peacefully. I didn’t pray or bribe the Super Power for some miracle. I was ready to accept the results. I knew what I would do if I fail...

But to my amazement, I passed...

The fruits of success seemed sweeter than past... It seemed mightier... When I cried out of joy in the shoulders of my parents... I knew what made me evolve and emerge successfully... It was the DETERMINATION TO NOT TO FAIL!

Yes... I didn’t want to fail my parents... My loved ones...

I didn’t want to befriend failure myself...

My hatred towards failure made failure flinch... And she left me...

May not be forever, but at least for the time being! 

This post is written as a part of ‘All that Matters‘ contest at BlogAdda.com in association with INK Live 2013.