Wednesday, 9 July 2014

When Words Failed...

https://rochellewisofffields.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/roiling-cloud-1.jpg

I was fiddling with my mobile phone and walking to and fro across the balcony. I was disturbed and restless.

Gentle breeze, blue sky and the mighty clouds failed to charm me.

I was waiting for Kenji’s call. His decision would change my life forever.

My head started pounding slowly. I could not take the tension anymore. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. I let the breeze embrace me. Acute tension brought moisture to eyes.  I ignored it.

And, the phone rang.

“The exhibition is in! Gear up painter”, his excited voice said through the phone.

I gazed up the sky.
Words failed me.

I silently walked towards my room and decided to bring that evening alive on my canvas.


PS: Thanks Rochelle for the wonderful prompt!

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32 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 09, 2014 6:33 pm

    Nicely done.

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  2. P.S. JoshiJuly 09, 2014 7:09 pm

    Satya, Good and well-written story. Descriptions of emotion are done well. : ) ---Susan

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  3. liz youngJuly 09, 2014 9:26 pm

    Tension in the air and in the mind combine to become too much to bear. Well done.

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  4. kalpana solsiJuly 10, 2014 12:21 am

    and the canvas would look so beautiful.................

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  5. AnonymousJuly 10, 2014 1:21 am

    I can feel the anticipation in this, and smell the electricity in the air. Alicia

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  6. DawnJuly 10, 2014 4:23 am

    Your story paints a very descriptive picture.

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  7. Red HandedJuly 10, 2014 3:57 pm

    Now I feel like seeing that painting. this was lovely.

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  8. Brian MillerJuly 10, 2014 5:41 pm

    first, what a cool picture...so much texture in the clouds....
    what an opportunity...i would def make the most of it if i were her and make that canvas come alive....

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  9. AnonymousJuly 10, 2014 6:18 pm

    ooh well done. I happen to love tension in fiction :)

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    Replies
    1. LocomenteJuly 10, 2014 6:32 pm

      Lolz...
      Glad to know that the tension was felt through my writing..
      Thanks.. :)

      Delete
  10. SiobhanJuly 11, 2014 4:41 am

    Great tension, and such relief and jubilation at the end :)

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  11. PRATIK KIRVEJuly 11, 2014 1:24 pm

    Well described emotions.. !! Enjoyable Story.

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  12. Rochelle Wisoff-FieldsJuly 13, 2014 6:09 am

    Dear Satya,

    I loved the way you led me in one direction and then took me in another. Lovely.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    Replies
    1. LocomenteJuly 15, 2014 8:51 am

      Thanks Rochelle...
      For the comments and the prompt...
      Also take care!

      Delete
  13. AnonymousJuly 14, 2014 1:07 am

    What relief and joy became of that day's tension. Nice story.

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  14. AnonymousJuly 14, 2014 4:04 am

    I'm getting the headache! :-) Hope the exhibition and painting goes well.

    Lily

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  15. Soumyaa VermaJuly 14, 2014 10:28 pm

    I loved the depiction of emotions- first the tension in the air, then the satisfaction, happiness. Very well brought about.

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  16. Perry BlockJuly 16, 2014 8:39 am

    Comes to a very well done and surprising ending! Nice one.

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