Suffocated

Some words like these etch in heart and refuse to leave. Vismaya desperately tried to make peace with those words. She struggled to let go off them. But, those were scars not wounds. The pain was no more, but the mark always reminded of the pain that she endured.

“You suffocate me Viz. You need me 24X7. Don’t I have a life? Don’t YOU have a life?” Jishnu had asked. Not once or twice. But several uncountable times. In several painful yet unforgettable circumstances.

Vismaya and Jishnu loved each other. A kind of love where silence spoke and comfort enveloped. But, redundant fights and misunderstandings tore them apart. A world that they had lovingly built started to shatter in front of their eyes. The sheer helplessness frustrated them further.

Days and months passed. Good times they had shared were so strong that they still remained together. But, they were equally hurt too.

Vismaya wanted to prove that she loved Jishu and never tried to suffocate him. So, she started to move away from him. She stopped sharing little details about her life and thought several times before sharing important ones. She almost stopped calling Jishnu because she didn’t want to disturb him; overburden him.

Jishnu, on the other hand, channeled his loneliness to performance at work. He worked so relentlessly that he found no time for anyone; not even for himself.

When the reality distanced them, love kept them glued. Expectations were unmet and desires were suppressed.

“Why can’t we start afresh?” Jishnu used to ask as a matter of fact. Vismaya used to agree too. After all, she didn’t enjoy the distance or the loneliness it offered.

But, again, those words always ringed in her head….

“You suffocate me Viz. You need me 24X7. Don’t I have a life? Don’t YOU have a life?”