The One with the Heartache

Anyone who has watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S knows that it is not a series, but an emotion. People who have watched it more than once also know that those 6 people are like their own friends. We would have wished that we had friends like them, or we were friends with people like them or we were those friends for others.

I have always found Joey to be the most loyal friend of all. He understands the boundaries that friendship comes with. At the same time, he would do anything to make his friends feel good! Remember the episode where he proposes to Rachel when he learns that she is pregnant and may have to raise the baby all alone? And the episode where he kisses Phoebe because she had a wish to have a good kiss before she turned 30 and, she had just learnt that her year of birth was wrong and is 31 already!

Anyways, this post is not about who is a better friend in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. This post is an ode to my most favorite character in F.R.I.E.N.D.S – Chandler Bing.

I have always loved the fact that Chandler faced his traumatic childhood, overcame his addiction and commitment issues. He is funny, yes. But it’s not just that. Remember the scene where he emerges to be mature enough to advise the ever-matured Monica! His evolutionary graph has always been upwards and that makes him one of the most relatable characters in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. When Mr. Heckles passes away, he identifies himself with Mr. Heckles and gets freaked out thinking he may die alone as well. This fear makes him to even date Janice! He has always been capable of understanding the situation, assessing it, and making practical solutions out of it.  He is also the kind of man that girls like - the one who doesn’t have male ego and always willing to accept the feminine energy within. These are just a few among many things that make Chandler Bing very special. He is mischievous too. Remember how he makes Phoebe pick his name over Joey’s for one of her brother’s triplets? Also, where he is exhausted from all the workouts that Monica was making him do, and therefore, he tells her he is surprised that she still has so much energy left though she has no job, money, or a boyfriend’s shoulder to cry on. Then he is a generous friend too – the selfless ways in which he has supported Joey all along. He even has a room for Joey in their new house to grow old!

Chandler Bing – He was the funniest character in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. When I read the actor Matthew Perry’s autobiography – Friends, Love and the Big Terrible Thing – I was shattered into million pieces. The actor’s life has not been a story of underdog winning, which is the case of Chandler Bing. On the contrary, his life has been miserable due to his addiction issues. He has described addiction as a dis-ease which only grows with age. He had battled with the issue for a very long time. Sometimes, he came clean of it. Sometimes, he also resorted back to it. This oscillation has been his life, as I understand.

Yesterday, we lost him. He was only 54 years old, and the news hurt when I heard it. It still hurts when I type about it. I could here his voice delivering those funny dialogs one after the other – “You get me, you kill me”… “OH-MY-GOD”… “That’s how they measure pants in prison”… I am hopeless and awkward and desperate for love”…

Chandler Bing has made me and millions of others laugh endlessly. He has inspired us too. He was the hope that it is ok - we will find the job we like... We will find our Monica... And we will have friends and family who make meaningful contributions to our lives… We will have everything that we have ever wished for because we simply deserve it. My heart aches when I see F.R.I.E.N.D.S now. It hurts that he is no more. Yet, it is strangely consoling too. He will live forever in our hearts as Chandler Bing. Mattman may not be around, but Chandler will be around for an eternity and beyond.

He really didn’t die alone like Mr. Heckles. He died after touching our souls and will continue to do so as long as F.R.I.E.N.D.S is around. From what I see, I don’t see that going anywhere. While I have named this post as “The One with the Heartache” and this post is “The one that Hurts”, I am sure he will forever be “The One who Lived Forever”.

I am sure that he is watching us all from somewhere and laughing while he says, “After making people laugh for years, I have managed to finally make them cry. Could I be any better with acting?” The Chandler Bing within him would be letting out a sigh of relief and saying, “At last I could skip this year’s thanksgiving. Could I be anymore grateful?” Well, when I am nervous, I crack a lot of jokes too and some of them could be morbid. So please forgive me.

Rest in Peace Mattman.

We all love you and will always remember you. You have a place in our hearts where you would stay healthy, young and lively forever 😊